Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
