Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
