my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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