We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
