I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
