You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
