I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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