Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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