So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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