shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
