We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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