2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
