My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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