Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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