Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
should my penis look like a turkey
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
