I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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