lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
