The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
its liver damage thursday
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