I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize