hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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