I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
