So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
