First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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