literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize