I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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