im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
