Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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