wrigley field is MILF paradise
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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