my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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