I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
