I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
