I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
