i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So here I am, sexting at work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
