Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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