She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
