Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
