Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
