I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
