Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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