six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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