Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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