I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize