She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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