I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize