Porn is love you can see.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
