What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
