On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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