did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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