I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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