Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
