just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
