I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
