I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
