This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
