I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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