I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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