i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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