we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
