Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
