Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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