yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
