you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
