you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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