Quick, to the slutcave!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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