i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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